Things to learn

Life is about learning as far as I'm concerned.

Learning is rarely painless though, and often fraught with the risk of embarressment.

One such learning curve began a few weeks ago, when I decided to meet a friend for coffee in the town centre. It was a beautiful day, hot and sunny with no breeze - perfect for a bicycle ride.

Unfortunately I had selected a wonderfully floaty dress. Being something of a doom-sayer I hurriedly looked up how to cycle without flashing your knickers. Although mine were clean I wasn't too sure the inhabitants of Uppsala needed to see them today. Cycle carefully, knees as near as possible, sit on any excess skirting and you should be fine. A sit-up bike is advisable. Hmm. Well, I figured that if I sat as straight as possible on my ladies standard style bike I'd be at least halfway there.

I sat carefully on the seat, pulled my skirt over my knees and set off. As I hit the main road I realised the folly of this adventure lay not in the skirt but in the delicate fabric crossed around my bust.

Yes folks, you guessed it. My dress wasn't designed for leaning forwards.

So, determined to arrive on time I continued, one hand on the handlebar, the other alternating between pulling my skirt down and the cross-over bust tighter and up. As the chiffon slid merrily up over the underskirt for the umpteenth time it dawned on me that I was fighting a losing battle.

I gave in.

So, to all of those poor, damaged eyes witness to my spotted knickers and the indecently uncovered bra, I apologise.

The coffee by the river was though fantastic.

Home... and thinking

Home. It's a funny word. I use it freely, casually, to refer to the place I rent, the place I sleep, the house of my parents - hell, I've even used it to refer to the home of a friend with whom I am not staying.

But what is the true home if you have so many?

I am happy in Sweden. I wake in a comfortable bed, cycle to work in whatever clothes I feel like throwing on. I read things which interest me, surrounded by people who challenge and inspire me. I shop for food I enjoy, cook whatever I like and have the freedom to enjoy my spare time.

Here in the house of my parents though, I feel unwilling to go back.

To be here is easy. It's a life filled with people I love and can rely on. In Sweden life is different. I don't understand a lot of the world around me, linguistically or socially. The people around me are not close friends, although I feel that they could be.

I don't think I love the country as much as I should. I know it's only been four months and that moving abroad is difficult but it really IS difficult.

Perhaps I'm weak, or allow my weakness to rule in too many instances.