Directional Attitude

I have no idea what that title means. It sounded good in my head.

For the past few days I've been having that Groundhog Day feeling, gradually getting worse. Last night it developed into Groundhog Year feeling, and I felt it all too much. I was thinking how different my life could have been if I'd had more confidence in my abilities when applying for courses, if I'd gone down the engineering route rather than the design route. Would I now be part way to designing revolutionary devices for saving lives in the 3rd world, or developing alternative fuel systems and revelling in my geekdom?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Either way, the feelings turned onto what my friends are doing and I suddenly thought that my failures could somehow be jinxing others, causing them to fail. I was very tired at this point and clearly my brain wasn't working at its most logical.

The key to my escape from Groundhog Year: Round III is to focus on my achievements and how I can make good use of them in the future to build a career and life that fulfills me and creates benefit for those around.

I'm also wasting a lot of time thinking and sleeping because of my mood. One way to challenge this is to assess it and record it, so I've bought myself a diary and each day will detail my aims (written the night before) and a write-up of what I actually did. Directly challenge weaknesses and hopefully I'll get stronger and get a great career. Even if that doesn't work I'll have more time to sell on eBay and thus buy mum a sewing machine!