Motivation

Everyone has dreams. Even if they're simple ones like "Eat a nutritious meal tonight."

Some people achieve these dreams and as much as I'd like to attribute this to luck and chance it can't all be- right? What fairness in the world gives some people masses of luck and others none?

My dream is fairly simple: Get a career, preferably in something which benefits people or knowledge and is based outside of the UK, find a man, marry and have a family, travel a bit and retire to live out my days in a loving relationship with a man, endless supplies of books, chocolate and wine.

The first goal here is clearly "Get a job" and it seems to be the hardest.

I'm finding motivation and self-belief are my greatest stumbling blocks. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but being under their roof isn't the most free of places to live. My bank balance and impending loan payments are further motivation to get earning. The lack of suitable men here is more than enough motivation to get out of the UK. By the time we add in the current political climate and my hatred for the majority of the English I'm well on my way to booking a flight leaving this evening.

Motivational tips go as follows:

1. Think about whether you really want to achieve your desire
2. Make your goal very clear
3. Think often about your goal
4. Visualize your goal as already accomplished
5. Read books or articles about the subject of your goal
6. Read about people who have achieved success
7. Think often about the benefits
8. Visualize
9. Repeat positive affirmations
10. Start small

I do really want to achieve this. It might scare me, but I want to do it. My goal is clear, but flexible. I think pretty much all the time about my goal. I see myself successful in it. I read journals, biographies, newspaper articles about it. I know what the benefits will be. I visualise, dream, all the time. I keep telling myself I can do it. How much smaller can you get than "get a job"?

My problem, I feel, is that whilst I see it happening and tell myself (and people who ask "what are you going to do?") I just don't believe it deep down. It's like there are two of me and people just see the successful one and I don't believe she really exists. And with each rejection and day that I spend like this the less real she becomes.