Finally!

The wall has cracked and I have a job. More to the point, it's a career type job. I've been there for three days already and really like the people.

It's a small firm, run by a father and son. I'm the only female working there and the father has already taken me to one side to warn me that I'll need to be assertive because the guy I need to get on with on the workshop floor allegedly hates women. Wonderful. At least I know he's stuck in the past and if the firm is going to be 21^st century it's going to have to adopt modern attitudes towards women.

I shall update more about my feelings about it when things become clearer in a month, after I have learned more about the firm and recapped my Solidworks and change management knowledge...

On another note, Liz has her open day for the museum next Sunday, showcasing her new exhibition on Freemasonry and skills in curating, preserving and organising. My parents are going to come along too to show their support to their unofficial daughter.

Cat is leaving us to go to London, starting a MSc course in mid-September, which is excellent.

I have no more news because, frankly, I have no life.

I will.

B-e-a-ootiful!

Sorry to start with a Jim Carrey line. Believe it or not I'm not a huge fan. I went for a stroll to the next village yesterday (sounds very Austen, but is in actual fact just the next collection of shops across the dual carriageway) with mum and bumped into one of her customers. Today mum was at work and the customer came in and told her I was beautiful.

I don't often get compliments and although a part of me suspects mum may be making up the whole story to instill some semblance of self esteem in me, I would be quietly pleased that someone thought that.

Anyway, onto the exciting stuff. I went mad and splashed out on a shiny piece of kit, all £1.97 for a pedometer. The healthy human walks approximately 10,000 steps each day, burning around 450 kcals. I put the thing on at around midday and at 11:30pm I've hit the grand total of.... 745.

Excellent.

To make up for my complete lack of physical activity I did apply for three jobs today, all of which hold some sort of excitement. I'm waiting with bated breath to hear back from the poor people I coughed at for an hour had an interview with last week. I would actually quite like the position and they seem to be quite innovative which would interest me, help develop my career and enable them to see if my degree is actually of any use.

Again a short and sweet post, followed by a little relaxation and hopefully a non-eventful night's sleep. For the past three nights I've had very odd dreams...

My next task

... on the list of things to do is to create my Elevator Speech. I remember my lecturer telling us that we should have one about each project we were working on, today I saw someone talking about using one in job hunting.

Using this link I can hopefully craft a winning message with which to very swiftly explain what I do, what I want to do and how I'll wow everyone.

But first, I intend to sleep. It's 11:36pm and I have to meet a friend at work.

Application completed, packed and posted. According to the postal service, delivered too.

So now I prepare for a trip abroad to see the lovely Suzanne and as many ancient Roman sites as possible. Miss Hunt would be proud!

I go to the hospital on Thursday to see if they want to try another course of the Isotretinoin. Part of me really wants to have more, despite the side effects, to see if we can beat this stupid condition. Actinic Folliculitis. It sounds like I just forgot to wash, rather than the truth (cleanse, mild exfoliation, moisturise, sun protect etc.). The other part of me wonders what the point is, or whether the monthly blood and pregnancy tests, plus the dried skin, frail hair, constant thirst and general malaise is a small enough price for the chance at normal skin.

I had a really good day on Saturday. I managed to forget jobs and money, stresses and diets, as I wandered around town with the Twin. Yet again we bought dresses that we cannot go out together wearing... yet another need to co-ordinate our daily outfits so that we don't match.

Sometimes you get motivation from the thoughts that make you feel a little down, and you are left wondering whether the motives are the right ones. For example, am I getting down to working on the PhD proposal because I genuinely want to study, because I want to be doing anything but sitting around leeching off my parents or because I feel better when people talk to me about doing it?

I'm quite enjoying my part time job as a driver. The other day I had a lovely drive up to Glossop then another down to Dunham Massey, beautiful rural roads etc. I get a strange sense of freedom just being an anonymous driver, turning up, dumping a little compost-joy and leaving again. No pressures, no worries about the future. It's only temporary though, my mind will surely cotton on at some point to the fact that I'm wasting my education and focus solely on that, ruining any zen-like moments.

The PhD project text finally clicked yesterday. I'm going to be honest and say that I'd read it for 2 hours and slept on it before I finally understood what they were trying to say. I felt a rare sense of achievement and excitement before I settled down to the matter of researching what I was going to say. I feel a little more confident now, despite the fact they want to see a copy of my MSc dissertation in the application. I'm proud of my grade at uni, but the little voice in my head keeps saying "No! You can't show them that, they'll take one look and realise you're a fraud in the academic industry!" which I know on a sensible, logical scale is complete nonsense.


In other news I spent a day working with Liz on her front garden and got burnt quite badly on my arms and back, yet with a f50+ screen on my face came away with only a mild rash on my face. I'm happy because that means the medication has worked beyond the end of the treatment. I went back straight after I returned from Sweden at Easter and the doctors are suggesting another course of treatment which, despite the discomfort, I'm quite happy about. I want to be able to go out in the sun with normal sun protection and know I'm not going to be scaring small children (at least not accidentally) for the next few days. Also, I might get to visit Suzanne in Italy.

Woo!

Clearly, ironically, technology and I do not mix. I thought not being alerted to an additional voicemail once the symbol appears was a glitch on my old (and now broken) phone. Apparently all phones do it. That's why I find myself in the awkward position of appearing to ignore an invite to a job interview, which naturally requires a phone call at 9am on Monday morning to apologise profusely and ask if they are still willing to see me. But it can't be Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or indeed Friday as I'm in Glasgow, temping, temping and temping in that order.

The Good News is that whilst in Glasgow I'll be being interviewed for a KTP position, which is exciting enough in itself until we add in the subject of the KTP and the information I've gleaned by stalking-lite the company and a few employees. Suddenly it's hugely exciting and I'm out shoe shopping for some smart shoes which did not cost £12 and are falling apart (student budgets eh!). So following two days of wandering aimlessly and crying inside at the ill-fitting and non-existant varieties of shoes on offer I finally found some. They're a bit bondage at the back, but fingers crossed with some opaque black tights and a high-necked top it'll look decent, smart and savvy.

Tomorrow is a packed day, what with collecting my researchers credentials and a key to the room I've been allocated, ferrying my mother (have a lovely Mothering Sunday, mum!) to the garage and (fingers crossed) organising an interview for interim cash should Glasgow not pay off in the near future.

I don't believe in stars but for the last couple of weeks mine in the Telegraph (the only accurate astrology section in the UK according to dad) have been career-positive. It could all be self-fulfilling prophecy, but who am I to ignore the hints?

I shall go to revise two years worth of studying on sustainability and design methodology.

Wonder if I filed any notes?

Waiting...

Currently I'm waiting for my Visiting Researcher pass to gain access to the IT and library systems at uni. I also get a key to, and a desk in, the PhD students room. Okay, it's not paid but it's experience and I'm seeing it as a free learning experience at a top university. I'm happy about the project too, it's all about sustainability and firms doing innovative things with their resources, which is excellent.

I'm struggling a bit on the money front though. I'm temping but I'm lucky if I get a couple of days a week and clearly once my funds start running out next month I'll be in trouble with the Career Development Loan people. My shoes are falling apart yet I can't justify the expense of a new pair, even for my interview next week. I've applied for 12 new part time jobs this week to keep my voluntary going on a little bit longer (despite the fact I've only just started), but past experience leads me to believe I will not be receiving a reply from any of them.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm living in cloud cuckoo land in considering doing a PhD. Where's it going to get me really, other than even more into the "over-qualified" section of job applicants for Greggs. The thought of studying abroad is exhilarating and would clearly be a huge addition to my CV; however if the thought of moving to Glasgow scares me... well it's not the big things. It's the small stuff like public transport in a new area, putting the right bins out, being in the right place at the right time. Silly things. Things normal people don't worry about in life. I guess I'm just a little weird and there's no reason for me to allow that fear to hold me back.

Getting some experience in

On the 3rd I have a meeting to outline exactly what my tasks will be at University. I approached my lecturer at graduation and he seemed pleased that I'd asked about helping out with a project. The team consists of two of my old lecturers and a few other staff, including an out-going PhD and a in-coming PhD academic. I'll be assisting initially with the literature review, outlining the topic and generally helping out where I can. There was mention of sitting in on some interviews later, and I hope to get to see some quantitative work to get that side of my skills back on board.

I'll be working for no pay, so part time (paid) work is a must, otherwise the bank will be chasing me for repayments on my career development loan. I've applied for another two roles at the uni and another just down the road.

Currently I'm temping, sitting on a few reception desks and handling the photocopying. Exciting stuff, but it brings in much needed cash. I've started the Bosch essay, however although the ideas are there the concentration and focus is not. I've written three miniature essays on a variety of topics based on the theme but alas have penned no further work.

Got it back...

... my Mojo.

Sadly, my Mojo has not extended itself to reaching for my trainers and headphones and jogging me around the block a few times to help shed the Festive Fattening, but since it's icy and pavements are 4" deep in the white stuff that's okay really.

Luckily, following a pep-talk from a girl at work who is in my position (excellent graduate, unable to currently get her feet on her career ladder) I'm feeling wholly more positive.

After a long hiatus I've looked at graduate schemes, clicked on a few PhDs and debated opening my Svensk book again.

Sometimes winter depression just does nothing for you mood. Or career.

As hard as it was, I came back. Admittedly the desire to just turn around on the drive to Gothenburg, before security at the airport, as we walked to the plane, as we shopped Amsterdam airport, as we passed security at Amsterdam and even as we walked out of Manchester airport arrivals was really strong.

But I returned. (mini cheer)

Super grateful to Liz for accompanying me on what started as a normal out and back trip.

This is me. The day before we left I got a call to go to Copenhagen for an interview so instead we drove South from Gothenburg, ferry to Denmark, hotel for the evening and interview number 1, went out for a drink and ended up getting wasted with some Danish car salesmen (well, Liz did. Ever the practical she saw the need for my soberness at the interview the following morning and dutifully drank my beers). Had interviews 2 and 3 then mad pack at the hotel followed by a huge drive North, ferry then up to the house where...

We found we'd been burgled. Yay. This is the village in which we have left our front door wide open and gone out for the day and had nothing happen, a village where you leave your bike unchained at the bus stop and it's still there when you come back. And we got burgled. The police were very helpful, if not a little funny about the house being freezing.

Anyway, cue much wine, West Wing and stressing, followed by some DIY to fix the lock and window (all without power tools too). Add in some Christmas shopping (floral Wreath through customs anyone?) and we were stuffed with coffee, waffles and vaniljbrod. Yummy.

I'm stressing now again over the PhD interviews in Denmark. I e-mailed to thank the profs/researchers for seeing me, but now I have had three ideas for a PhD which might be useful to them. Perhaps I should e-mail the researcher who seemed really approachable and fun.

The best part of the whole week (apart from the travelling, Rob Lowe accidentally sleeping with a hooker and the wine being decent) was Liz walking into a petrol station on the way back and ordering- in perfect Swedish- two lattes and paying for them, before thanking the attendant and saying goodbye. Did I not teach her well? Admittedly she's still very confused by Scandinavian languages, but there is hope yet.. perhaps more for her than me.

Oh, and I graduate on the 18th December, wearing a purple and gold hood, and I start work on Monday.

A gazilion and one

I feel like I've applied for a gazillion jobs. Seriously. You would not think that having reception, admin, call centre, retail and an advanced degree would make it so hard to find a job. My fingers are crossed in the hope that my loan payments will not fall into arrears, but my breath is not held.

In other news, I keep bumping into Scandinavians. First there were the Swedes on the train chattering away in a Southern accent, then the Norwegians in town (Liz, Cat etc should remember this) after the beer festival (great event, amazing atmosphere, fantastic ales) who requested a photo because we were English. Is it a sign, or just the football?

I'm understanding more Swedish now, forming my own sentences now I have a better idea of the grammar. I'm not great at recalling words but when I see or hear them I understand. Sadly my French isn't improving, mostly because I haven't been studying.

Still nothing...

Still actively waiting. By this I mean applying for more, chasing old applications and occasionally getting upset with my CDL provider.

In order then:

Have four applications that I'm halfway through. The main stumbling block appears to be "What has been your most significant non-academic achievement?" Hmm. I survived being attacked by a lunatic? Makes me sound like I'm after a pity job. I tackled other girls into the mud in the name of sport? Makes me sound like a butch lesbian. I ate more than my dad aged 7. Ha! That's more like it.

I rang the Danish uni, failed to get through to either lecturer or course admissions tutor, so settled for e-mailing. Only one replied saying I should have had a written confirmation of my application. Erm, no. But at least I know that's not dead.

Got annoyed with the CDL provider today. They said I may be eligible for a deferment on my payments, so I rang and found out that because my benefits application has been lost and I've since worked a grand total of two days since I finished my course I am now ineligible. Bastards. Am going to ring the arrears dept. on Monday.

I can't tomorrow because BMW called me back for another day. Clearly I didn't break the coffee machine. At least I look good to the agent now.

I'm going to be watching the debate tonight on Question Time, purely to witness Griffin hang himself with whatever noose he is provided.

Don't get me wrong- benefit cheats, spongers, illegal immigrants and tax dodgers are among my pet peeves (and I'd gladly kick them, hard) but focusing on race, religion and exclusion is just plain wrong. The man should be ashamed, not least because there were videos of him on Youtube cuddling up to the KKK.

Have still heard nothing from any of my recent applications. I've signed away my legal rights to a maximum working week for a temping agency instead. It is reversable and- well if I end up working then it's more cash in the bank, no matter how far I go over the hours, unlikely though that seems.

Today I'm taking advantage of the fact that I always work better with no distractions and a focus. Here to focus my mind in an hour or so is the Blond, who needs me to teach her Project Management (thank God I aced that module. Twice.), and Photoshop (I didn't ace that one).

My language lessons have taken a new and far more interesting turn in the form of Jarnets Anglar with subtitles which is a brilliant indie film in Swedish.

I understood about half of it in Swedish once I had seperated out the sounds based on the subs. It also features the delectable Alexander Skarsgård.

Setting plans

The contact my tutor has turned out to be a woman I was put in touch with 18 months ago for a career chat. She agreed to meet and never returned my call. Hmmm. Have contacted my tutor to ask whether I should approach it as a totally new contact, or bring up the fact we have already been introduced via e-mail. Sadly, she may recognise me from my background.

Urgh.

In other news, my plan for today is to ring all the agencies I'm registered with to chase on temp jobs, run through the environment job sites for new openings, turbolist at least 5 items for eBay and do 30 minutes of French.

After that, some cleaning and then perhaps a delve into the wool chest to see if I can find something cheap to teach myslf knitting with. What? Well I'm skint and threw out all my holey jumpers last spring, so why not turn those balls into jumpers that fit my stupidly long upper body?

But first: washing out on the line. It might even start to dry...